return to innocence

We decided to go for a swim the other day. We didn't want any fuzzy beach so we chose something quiet  not too far away. Although the sea is almost everywhere, all locals go outside the city because the waters are away from the everyday corrosion. As soon as we reached there, we realized that the beach was not so quiet and the sea not that warm. Well, as far as the quiet part is concerned we all agreed but the part with the sea being cold...it was just me. I bought a coffee and i just sat under the sun trying to ignore the nasty kids that were screaming and playing  around. The rest of the group got in the sea without looking back. I was in solitude in a beach full of people. Some of you know how that feels...However i had the ''medicine'' for that. I put on my black sunglasses(so that no one would think that i am a psycho and i got straight into my thoughts). I admit, sometimes i get up in a worse state than i was when i sat but i do it anyway. At the time, i was thinking of something a friend wrote which was that '' Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore''. I thought then, that i have been too long on the same shore, on something that i ended up being too tired to leave due to all the attempts that remained plans instead of actions or failed actions that were never replanned due to convenience. The basic roles were reversed. I was waiting for what the sea would bring to my shore instead of diving in and attempting, hoping, trying, fighting, putting in flesh and bones whatever i was searching for.

Suddenly, a small sea stone thrown by a friend hit my arm and brought me back to reality and my mind mocked all these ''philosophical thoughts of...whatever''. On top of that, two kids were right next to me quarreling about who can reach the horizon faster. Their screams to one another were ongoing so i started looking after their parents to save me or the police (that was plan B...just in case). After 10 minutes they went into the sea trying to reach the horizon. I laughed...as you would probably do because i knew they could never make it.
But you know...they didn't think about it. They didn't believe not even for a moment that they couldn't do it, they were sure that each one of them will reach the horizon first, the burning sun didn't scare them nor the depth of the sea, not even the rising likelihood of being slapped by their mother. They mocked the lifeguard and they just went for it. Still, they are kids, their job is to look after their own satisfaction...the thing is...what would you give to have an eighth  of that kind of spirit again?How much?No strings attached, not even things-circumstances-bad habits that you are now bonded to.So, how much would you offer for such a feeling?It would be too sweet to work like that......money for feelings wouldn't it?That's why it is so hard to get it (back) because it can't be bought just conquered. On the other hand, how many of us have the will to go to war with themselves without any ''loyal soldiers''?